Saturday, August 23, 2003
<Note: The following paragraph is to be read in a southern accent. Please forgive my lack of inclusion of southern pronunciation in spelling>
Okay, so I'm layin' on my bed, mindin' my own business and readin' the glorious Atlas Shrugged, and in comes Julia - wavin' her arms in the air preachin' to me about all loving the french and doing drugs and stuff. I mean, she must have been really wasted. Keep in mind this was after 2 am. Lisa had just gone to bed, and Julia said she would follow. Of course, she got on one of those pro-stupid-stuff highs that happens about every year for most people and usually doesn't last very long. But, with Julia, well, lets just say I don't know if she has pro-stupid or pro-not-stupid or anti-stupid highs. It is really hard to tell. I suppose it depends on what is stupid being what is blatantly not true, and after all, isn't truth subjective? "Ve don't care, ve still vant ze moo-nay Lebowzky" (Damn German nihilists) Oh well, now that my stomach is bitching (You women will never reclaim it, Lisa! Not as long as the crows breed apple pie and elephants are hatched. Besides, given that everything is subjective, are we all both women and not-women?) about not having eaten in twelve hours, I'm going to spite it some more and finish reading before bed. Take that bodily functions, you'll never take me alive!
<stomach acid eats away inner lining and starts digesting vital organs>
"Ahhhh! my appendix! Wait, I don't need that! Take that stomach! And take this!"
<stabs gut with ice pick, Bateman style>
<slowly bleeds to death while stomach acid leaves the appendix and retargets the spleen>
"You don't know what your life is, nor what you're doing, nor who you are." - Dionysos, Euripides' Bakkhai
Okay, so I'm layin' on my bed, mindin' my own business and readin' the glorious Atlas Shrugged, and in comes Julia - wavin' her arms in the air preachin' to me about all loving the french and doing drugs and stuff. I mean, she must have been really wasted. Keep in mind this was after 2 am. Lisa had just gone to bed, and Julia said she would follow. Of course, she got on one of those pro-stupid-stuff highs that happens about every year for most people and usually doesn't last very long. But, with Julia, well, lets just say I don't know if she has pro-stupid or pro-not-stupid or anti-stupid highs. It is really hard to tell. I suppose it depends on what is stupid being what is blatantly not true, and after all, isn't truth subjective? "Ve don't care, ve still vant ze moo-nay Lebowzky" (Damn German nihilists) Oh well, now that my stomach is bitching (You women will never reclaim it, Lisa! Not as long as the crows breed apple pie and elephants are hatched. Besides, given that everything is subjective, are we all both women and not-women?) about not having eaten in twelve hours, I'm going to spite it some more and finish reading before bed. Take that bodily functions, you'll never take me alive!
<stomach acid eats away inner lining and starts digesting vital organs>
"Ahhhh! my appendix! Wait, I don't need that! Take that stomach! And take this!"
<stabs gut with ice pick, Bateman style>
<slowly bleeds to death while stomach acid leaves the appendix and retargets the spleen>
"You don't know what your life is, nor what you're doing, nor who you are." - Dionysos, Euripides' Bakkhai
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
Well, take that Jon - I didn't think you were worth mentioning. But I suppose I should mention it. It was good having some one from da hood coming to visit. What the hell is wrong with you bastards? It took you this long to send one person? You should have been competing for the honor of that two square foot bit of floor space in my closet. Really, it's a nice place - you even have enough room to stand up. Well, you can stand up if you move the skirts other women�s clothing out of the way. We saw S.W.A.T. and I finally got to continue the talking through a movie with continuous commentary. Really - what's the point of seeing a movie with someone if you wait until the you've forgotten all the little things at the end of the movie? How will I remember all the crappy little things if I don't bitch to someone about them? I think Mystery Science Theater has taken its toll... Besides, I'm right by the waterfront - what better way to dispose of your body than in little bits spread over Lake Washington? Besides - you don't really want to be in California with their idiotic recall election. I am holding each of you personally responsible for it.
In other news: some advertising genius thought that a new electric toothbrush and electric-floss-substitute should be endorsed by a member of that human strain which is best known for its oral hygiene. I am speaking of course, of the British.
And now, your new quote:
"Idle hands spend time at the genitals." - Ol' Drippy, Aqua Teen Hunger Force (07, 1, 06) - Ol' Drippy
In other news: some advertising genius thought that a new electric toothbrush and electric-floss-substitute should be endorsed by a member of that human strain which is best known for its oral hygiene. I am speaking of course, of the British.
And now, your new quote:
"Idle hands spend time at the genitals." - Ol' Drippy, Aqua Teen Hunger Force (07, 1, 06) - Ol' Drippy
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